Why am I lying to myself?
It’s your girl Lisa Nichols here, and I wanna know…do you ever repeat a behavior or get into a similar situation with a different person and say to yourself:
“Why did I do that again?” Or… “How did I get here in this same scenario again?”
I see those hands waving in the air. Mine are waving too, so trust me when I say #YANA (you are not alone)!
So why do we do that?
Why do we lie to ourselves?
Why do we set ourselves up for frustration?
Why are we not working on changing this?
How do we stop lying to ourselves?
When I brought this topic up in a previous video, you guys went wild and wanted to explore this more.
So, for this week’s blog, we’re going to take a deep dive into what it takes to really expose your truth, accept your truth, and stop lying to yourself.
Step #1 – Courage
The first step to exposing and accepting your truth is to have courage and be ready for whatever comes out. You can handle it. Note to self: #ICANHANDLEMYTRUTH. Say it out loud. “I can handle my beautiful truth.” Or “I can handle my messy truth because I keep ending up here again.”
I used to get a stack of mail from Wells Fargo, and I never opened it. Why? Because I knew what it was–a notice of insufficient funds. It was one sheet of paper that said, “Hey Lisa, did you know you did not have enough money in the bank to cover that check you wrote? And by the way, that is going to cost you an extra $35 fee?” I was in denial and didn’t open the mail because I was not accepting the truth and the reality that I didn’t have enough money. I had to accept that truth and realize I was creating this financial situation because I could not blame my bank or get mad at them. So, step one is to have the courage to embrace your truth.
Step #2 – Root to Rise
Once you have the courage to accept your truth, I want you to get rooted in your truth. I want you to root to rise. Go inward as it becomes an internal game. Internal validation vs. external validation. I know that’s easier said than done, especially in this social media polarizing world where everything is screenshotted. Everything is filtered. Everything is videotaped. Everything is posted. Everything has comments on it or receives a thumbs up or thumbs down.
Internal validation is first and foremost, so root and be willing to go inward. As my boy Shawn Smith says, there is a reason why a hurricane will knock down a 20-story building before it uproots a tree…because a building does not have roots, but a tree does. So, take a look at your core belief system. What is your foundation? What brings you joy? How do you define success? Nobody can define what success looks like to you. Not your mama, not your daddy, not your man, not your woman, not your kids. Not your friends. Not your career. Not the title on your business card or the balance in your bank account. Only you can define what joy and success looks like to you. And guess what? You get to redefine it whenever you want to. Because what may have looked like success to you in 2018 may not be what success means to you in 2022.
Self-esteem is self-understanding. So, we have to be fluid and flexible and who we are and where we are at any given moment. There are so many opportunities for you to get caught up in external validation that you start lying to yourself. How many times have you thought OMG the world is against me? Or this relationship didn’t work so I must be undateable. Or OMG it is always going to be so hard for me to earn money.
There are a thousand reasons why and a thousand external experiences that can cause you to start lying to yourself. So let me be clear. The truth is never changing. You can get mad because water is wet, but water is still going to be wet. It’s still going to be wet because that’s the truth. It’s just the truth. It’s your birthright to have abundance. That is the truth. You are resilient. That is the truth. Your resiliency is not dependent on circumstances. That is the truth. The human spirit is unbreakable and unshakeable. That is the truth. You might get overwhelmed. You might get frustrated. You might get weary. You have a right to get tired. You might need to sit down. You might need to stop and regroup or restart. That’s okay. But the truth is that abundance is still your birthright. Joy is still your birthright. Your human spirit is still standing up behind you. Whether you’re laying down or sitting down, your human spirit is standing behind you saying, “What are we going to do next when we are done with this?
Remember, this conversation is not a monologue. It’s a delicious dialogue and I wanna hear from you! So please share with me below in the comments what was the biggest lesson you learned? What is the biggest lie you have been telling yourself? What got stirred up within your soul?
This is your home. We are your tribe. And when I say I LOVE you and I BELIEVE in you, it’s for one reason. Not because I have run out of words. It’s because I truly do.
Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,