Inspire. Lead. Transform.
One of the questions I get asked often is, “Lisa, how do I find happiness?”
We all want to be happy, right? But what I’ve discovered is that there is a misconception about happiness. Most people seem to have this idea that happiness is a destination. That you arrive at happiness. And once you get there, you are NEVER gonna leave.
You see…what many people don’t realize is that happiness ebbs and flows. Happiness today will look very different than happiness did three years ago or three years from now. Happiness EXPANDS and CONTRACTS. Happiness is something you bring INTO a room, not what you search for a room to GIVE you.
What I love about happiness is that it’s something that you can carry with you…it’s like a light. And what I’ve learned is you carry your own storage of happiness that ONLY YOU are responsible for.
I invite you to dive in with me as I share my top 3 tips for finding happiness that involve ACCOUNTABILITY, AUTHENTICITY and HONESTY.
#1 – Accountability. The most important thing you need to understand is the myth about happiness. Whether it is a parent/child relationship, a romantic relationship or a friendship, someone else CANNOT make you happy. That responsibility falls SOLELY and EXCLUSIVELY on your own shoulders. The other person may add to your happiness or challenge it at times. But ultimately, happiness is up to you. And like most things in life, it helps to get an accountability partner. Choosing someone in your life to hold you accountable to being the person that you wish to become is a powerful tool in the happiness department. Choose someone who’ll remind you of your declaration to yourself and to the people who come across your path.
#2 – Authenticity. It took me a while to realize how much authenticity and living my truth had to do with my happiness. And I mean the happiness that you experience in the dark of the night when nobody else is around. Not the happiness that shows up in the middle of the day where you put on a “happy face.” We all know that kind of happiness…where people say they are happy, but on the inside, they are a ticking time bomb. The inauthentic kind of happiness where you wear a fake smile on your face for everyone else. Not for you. That kind of happiness says, “I don’t trust you to be able to handle my truth.”
I believe authentic happiness is being able to say what you need to say. Do what you need to do. Become the person you have always known yourself to be. Real happiness is not dimming your light because you’re worried someone else can’t handle your light. Authentic happiness is showing up and standing as tall as you can stand. It’s allowing your greatness to enter the room. It’s also owning your shadows—the dark part of you that you can look at and say, “I sure wish you were not there, but since you are, I’m going to deal with you authentically. Happiness lives inside of authenticity.
#3 – Honesty. Are you honest with those around you? Honesty lives in the same space as authenticity, but the honesty I’m referring to is the willingness to share with people who need you to share with them. It’s the willingness to tell people what they need to hear and hold them to their greatness. It’s the willingness to remind them they are not playing as big as they could be playing. It’s drawing a healthy line in the sand. It’s recognizing that if someone keeps crossing your line or your boundaries, it might not be because they are being rude or disrespectful. It might be because your line isn’t deep enough or bold enough.
Can you be honest enough to say, “Hold on. I’ve trained you to believe that I can handle everything, and I don’t need to hear any acknowledgement. Turns out I really do need to hear those words.” Or, “I do need to have my own space.” It’s being able to say, “I love you” or “I need you” or “I apologize” or “I got caught up in my ego.”
I wish I could tell you there is a magic formula for happiness. But what I DO KNOW is when you find another giant to hold you accountable; when you are authentic; and when you are honest with yourself and with those around you, you’ll feel like someone sprinkled an extra dose of happiness across your life.
I’d love for you to share with me in the comments which part of this topic really hit home for you. What did I shake up in you today? What was the big #AHA that came up in this episode? Did you say to yourself, “Hold on…I need to own my happiness more?”
Thank you for sharing this space with me. I can say with 100% honesty and authenticity that I believe in you and I love you. I truly do.
Your Sister in Prosperity and Possibility,
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Motivating the Masses and Lisa Nichols are committed to have you do the things you have never done before, so you can get the results you have never had and create the life you only dreamed of..
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